Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Therapy Sesh Lession and Anxiety Sucks

Last week was rough, as I have heard was common for so many people! The cool thing about it? 

That it passed. 

We made it through and now we're rolling down hill, with the wind in our hair and the sun shining on our backs!

I'll share with you one of the most amazing things I learned in therapy this past year.

In a session I spent grieving over my frequent losing battles with depression and anxiety I explained how I felt a failure for not being able to control my emotions and keep the positive outlook that I loved so much.

It was suggested that instead of fighting the negative that I just go with it. Ride it out. Let it do it's thing and move forward, knowing that it would pass. Emotions often correspond with stages in life and like a roller coaster are constantly up and down... but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong or that there's a need for medication or other things.

The trick is to learn to find the common ground. When you're experiencing an extreme high, enjoy it but know that it will pass. Likewise, when you're experiencing an extreme low, stay focused and know that it will pass and the good times will be back.

Acknowledging this has saved my sanity.

Sunday, March 25, 2012



"I know a psychic who reads her own palms and the finding are personal."
"But I am still alive and loving wide eyed in my time and not a mummy shrinking in it's cloths."

I have an odd fascination with lyrics. The words that people align with instruments evoke emotion. I have had some pretty intense thoughts provoked from my mind by this band. They're totally worth looking up. They connect detailed, sometimes horrific, lyrics with an upbeat that catches rythym in a very appealing way.

"Even though I have seen you in years, yours is a funeral I'd fly to from anywhere."

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Ya Got That Right

Perusing through Facebook today, like ya do, I came across something really awesome. A quote, from a girlfriends' boyfriend (who happens to be an amazing photographer), that put everything into perspective. Without too much explanation and a list of reasons I have for deleting myself socially from the internet, here's what he said.

"I just don't have the time to be getting older."
-Russell Dryer

I have decided to continue my little break from daily blogging and continue to get my affairs in order. I have big, BIG plans that I need to plan for. I hope you don't mind. I promise to be back with a vengeance... so stay in touch! In the meantime, enjoy some of Russell's work. I often find myself admiring his photography! A unique perspective and quality talent seem to be taken for granted by the ever growing photography fad. He's based out of Atlanta... where the cool kids are.




Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Go Jump Off a Bridge... Like Me!

I wrote a guest post for Lena at Mom2MemphisandRuby and it's up today! 

It's all about that time I jumped off a bridge... and lived!

to awesomeness

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand speaking of guest posts, 
I'm still in need of a few!
The babies getting close so I'm dotting my i's and crossing my t's.

So get with it and hit me up!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Dream Come True

Charleston Fashion Week 2012 is what's happenin' in South Carolina right now. I wish I could be there but we all know why I can't be... (ahem - baby bump). I have been patiently waiting to log this mini memoir about how lucky and how awesome my experience was when I, Ashley Marie, got a chance to walk a real runway in front of a butt load of people.

I was one of those awkwardly skinny and tall teenage girls that really didn't have a figure. If I wasn't a victim of blatant jealousy (that I didn't understand... I wanted curves) I was repeatedly told, "You should be a model!" Ummm... yeah right. Pretty was not something I felt I had going for me. Then, at 22, I had a baby... I sure as hell knew it wasn't going to happen then. Who wants to look at stretch marks and thighs? Turns out, people like girls with figures. Imagine that! You can read about my first real photo shoot (at age 24) here: That Time I Was a Pin Up Model. Fast forward a couple of months and read about how those photos landed me my first runway show here: Cavortress Part 3. Julie Wheat, designer/creator of Cavortress was amazing and passed my information to an agency in Charleston that signed me just a few weeks after that... at age 25! I was on my way... I was ecstatic. I was floored. I looked so completely different than the other girls. For one, I'd given birth and there were signs of that. Two, I had tattoos. Three, I was over the age of 20. I was lucky enough to be asked back for another show late that summer where it was insisted that I audition for Charleston Fashion Week. 

Ya gotsta be kidding me. I heard they were expecting 9000, yes... 'THOUSAND', people to attend!

I showed up though... and walked. 800 girls auditioned from 3 different states. 60 of us were chosen. Although I was picked by three designers to walk - a break up with my abusive ex cost me the early morning fittings for 2 of them. Bastard. Luckily, I still made it in time to the fitting for featured designer Jamie Lin Snider! She's originally from Vegas and has a client list of awesome people like Kat Von D! I really remember the whole thing as if it were a dream... but I have proof it happened! Check it:

Everyone else had apartments or hotel rooms, 
I snuck into the 4 star hotel next door and got ready in the bathroom... 
cuz I was broke and I'm supa fly like that. 
 This was our practice walk the night before the big show...
"that's a loooong way to walk" was all I kept thinking.
I am not gonna lie, I seriously considered backing out.

 This is me backstage before the show, after hair and make up.
All we did was wait and watch the other shows.
We're all staring at a flat screen here,
I assumed the other girls were working up courage like I was...
 Yeah, so I wear a 7 1/2. My shoes were a 6 1/2.
I was able to pull it off to the designers relief because I was raised by a Southern grandmother
who often informed me that 'it hurts to be pretty'.
 Backstage before the show! The photographer caught me in a ridiculous stance.
In my defense, I seriously thought I was going to fall off of the runway so I practiced.
Over. And over. And over.
I walked around for ever it seemed with my hands on my hips.

Here I am! Posed at the end of the runway!
Shaking like a leaf on the inside...
threatening myself if it showed on the outside.
Walking in front of hundreds of people to a wall of dozens of 
photographers with flashing lights is quite a daunting task.
I thought I was going to pass out, if not start crying!

Here is an edited video of the show. The beginning makes it real doesn't it? I clipped the video and I appear second at 2:15 if you want to jump ahead. Around 9:30 the guy holding my camera (aka Bubba Bryant... from Army Wives. Uh, yes! Bragging corner: I kinda dated him for 2 days... I had no idea who he was until he was flocked by screaming girls in the parking garage... word.) does a round about to capture the audience. I think my face is hilarious. I blacked out as soon as I started walking and stepped around the corner and didn't regain consciousness until I was standing in front of the photographers. I really don't ever want to do it again. I kept telling everyone who came up to me afterward I was probably the only model there that didn't want to be there. Although in hind sight, I conquered a bashful fear and nailed it! Boo-ya.

Soooo, yes. That's about it. Except for the dozens of pictures of dozens of experiences I had while down there, which I'll share with you tomorrow. I loved every minute of it (minus the actual show... I still shiver thinking of it) but honestly, I can say, I am glad that I did not pursue a career of runway modeling. I much prefer studio modeling, there's much more pressure but a lot less eyes!

Thanks for listening to me recollect the awesomeness that was one week of glory for me!


Monday, March 19, 2012

Complete Crap-Out

Sorry I've been gone for so looong! I'm going to blame it on the baby... again. Truth is, I'm so tired. I am completely drained, ya know? With birthday parties and false labors and baby prep I haven't had much time to do anything but to blog mentally... so don't forget about me, there's SO MUCH that's going to be happening up in here (up in here! Love me some Busta Rhymes, mmm hmmmm)

ALSO, one day... I'm going to sit up all night and read back logs of your blogs. I feel guilty I haven't been around and I feel like a horrible bloggy friend for being so out of touch! I take my subscriptions to your blogs VERY seriously. xoxo

In the meantime, here's some stuff to check out:

1. Gurlfrand... PLEASE turn OFF your captcha... READ HOW HERE via Mrs. Robinson @ My New Wife Life

2. Mike Ness is so awesome. This is part of the reason why. READ WHY HERE

3. BUY THESE HERE ... because they'll be perfect for your summer wardrobe.
Zipper Pull Earring With Multi Strand Neon Pink & Neon Orange Chain 
4. Wear the above earrings with this dress. BUY IT HERE
Gathered halter neck, formal, cocktail, backless, maxi dress. 

<3 Ashley Marie

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Aiden Gray Makes His Video Debut

Aiden Gray loves watching You Tube videos of people transforming Transformer toys. This weekend he got a new Megatron toy for his birthday and asked Mimi to film him! The outcome was adorable! Below is a funny and matter of fact Aiden Gray way of explaining what he's got in his hands:

I absolutely LOVE how he ends it.

Sweet, sweet little boy.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

It's Birthday Party Crunch Time!

WOW what a week! Sex, Intimacy, Birth Control Politics... and now it's hump day! The goof ball in me just giggled a bit. However tempting it may be to continue this trend, I'm off to prepare for a birthday party... that is happening in 3 days! Think I can do it!?

Confession: It is THREE DAYS until Aiden's super awesome Dr. Seuss Carnival. I know... I totally failed at planning ahead. Truth is, I had planned to the max but the whole bed rest thing kind of hindered my plans. I've been assured though that 4 days is plenty of notice for parents. We'll see! I haven't done a blasted thing except make these banging invitations yesterday:
I started hand writing invitations that were going to be awesome little fish (1 Fish, 2 Fish...) but after an hour having made only 3, I realized that I could design the invites with awesome colors and pictures and have them photo printed at CVS for just a couple of bucks. I was right! It took me less than 10 minutes to design this one and I was able to pick them up in 15 minutes! Talk about easy! They turned out great!

{By the way, if you are ever in need of any sort of invite or announcement, as a hobby I like to create all sorts of paper goods... FOR FREE! Just email me and we'll collaborate.}

So on the schedule for the next few days:

1. Make Signs for Carnival Stations
     a. Thing 1 & Thing 2 Portrait Station
     b. One Fish Two Fish Fishing Hole
     c. Oobleck Station
     d. Whoville Face Painting Station
     e. Pin the Star on the Sneetch
2. Pick up party favors at Michaels.
3. Paint Party Favor Bags with Aiden & O'Ryan tonight.

I'll be updating this post as I go so stay tuned! Also, if you have any suggestions for more themed games, let me know... if we use your idea I'll send you something awesome!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Getcha Big Girl Panties On

I have been shocked (and slightly embarrassed) by the new Georgia House Bill 954. Just jump over to this article, aptly titled "Georgia Lawmaker Compares Women to Cows and Pigs" and you'll probably be mortified, at the very least offended too. I was going to write an article about what is going on down here in the good 'ol South but I have this friend who knows WAY more about the facts so I asked her to write it down. Tiffany and I share the same view on this topic. However, if you do not agree with us I ask only that you respect our opinion. This is NOT an article supporting abortion, rather an article supporting a woman's right to her body.


Religion, Birth Control and Healthcare Reform: 
How the Republican Lie Hurts Women 
By: Tiffany Smith, Atlanta, GA March 12, 2012

Government takeover. “Obamacare”. Abortion. These are a few of the biggest “fears” and brightest taglines of the GOP. 

First of all, I fear a religious takeover far more than our government extending hate-crime protection to minorities and granting access to healthcare for 30 million uninsured Americans. For all the Tea Taliban rhetoric about the Constitution, you’d think they had perhaps read it. “The government shall make no law respecting any religion.” This was an important enough concept that the Founding Fathers wrote it into the document that our government would build upon until the end of time. To have freedom of religion also means to be free FROM religion. Don’t try to force your religious propaganda into our laws, because not everyone agrees with you. This should not be a difficult concept to understand. America was not designed as a theocratic nation. If you want something like that, you should look to a country that employs it and see how well it is working out; say, Iran for example, where the Morality Police (yes, real morality police) roam the streets informing girls if what they are wearing is inappropriate and what time they should go home. I feel confident saying that most American women would agree this is not the model they would like to follow.

Now let’s talk about freedom of speech, religion, birth control and “Obamacare” (aka the Affordable Care and Patient Protection Act, “ACPPA”). It was painfully obvious that the GOP began this railing against preventative health care for women on the argument of “free speech” and “freedom of religion,” but it slowly progressed into outlining their true argument – that women should not necessarily be afforded birth control coverage under their insurance plans. I want to make clear that the original law already exempted religious institutions from the rule. The original law stated that if a religious institution only provides faith-based services and employment, meaning that they only employ and serve people who are of the same faith, then they would be fully exempt from the requirement; however, if the religious institution employs people or serves the public REGARDLESS of their faith, then they must comply with the law. I think this is perfectly reasonable; if you do not discriminate in who you provide services to, then you should not be allowed to discriminate against what healthcare options your employees receive. Employers cannot pick and choose which laws they would like to follow. They say that “corporations are people too,” and citizens certainly cannot choose which laws they will follow and which ones they won’t. 

The most abhorrent thing I find about this ruckus is that it seems to be primarily debated by men. Republicans recently held a widely-criticized all-male panel to discuss women’s access to contraception. They excluded any women from discussing their opinions on how the republican religious doctrine might affect the healthcare that women are eligible to receive. When democrats allowed the young woman, whom republicans had turned away from their panel, to speak, she was instantly insulted and received a barrage of disparaging comments, most notably being called a “slut” and a “prostitute”. This is how we speak about our educated young women? 

One of the things I find so offensive is that the big flap over birth control comes from a bunch of men who have no problem collecting their free “preventative” Viagra, which is covered by their insurance programs. Pat Buchanan recently had the audacity to answer this question by stating that “Viagra has been deemed a medication.” What, and birth control isn’t?? So in other words, it is perfectly ok for men to get their rocks off, but women are the only ones who should pay for it. It seems to escape these men that birth control is not used merely to prevent pregnancy; it has other medical uses as well. Co-pays for birth control typically range from $20-$50 out of pocket expense per month. That’s pretty expensive for a self-supporting woman in today’s economy. 

Not only are women under siege for using common methods of contraception, which over 98% of women use at some time in their life, but we have “personhood” amendments popping up all across the country. It is coming up for the THIRD time in Colorado this year – it has already been voted down by voters in the state TWICE, but republicans just can’t seem to respect what the voters have said. There should be “double jeopardy” style bans on that kind of legislation – once it is voted down it ought not ever be brought back up again. Wording something slightly differently and forcing voters to vote on it over and over again is very misleading. So-called personhood amendments are designed to make a woman responsible for her fetus from the moment of conception – never mind women don’t even usually know they’re pregnant until a month later. This ideology could be interpreted to interfere with common birth control methods, and even potentially give rise to a woman being charged with murder for having a miscarriage (as was proposed by Bobby Franklin in Georgia, carrying a sentence of life in prison or death!). 

It is worth noting that those who vehemently claim to be “pro-life” are usually also pro-war and pro-death penalty. 

Then we have politicians like Rick Santorum who want to fully outlaw a woman’s right to electively terminate her pregnancy, and in the meantime those who want to pass laws to humiliate a woman as much as possible when she is faced with that difficult decision. Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell just signed into law the anti-abortion bill requiring 24-hour wait periods and pre-abortion ultrasounds – a medically unnecessary state-mandated procedure intruding into your doctor’s office (not to mention your loins). The original form of the (much-ridiculed) bill mandated a ‘transvaginal ultrasound’ – forcing said object into your body against your will, practically the equivalent of being raped by office equipment. It was later changed to an external ultrasound requirement only amid all the public backlash. This is the most obvious hypocrisy in the battle cry for “smaller government”. I’m guessing they mean ‘small enough to reach into your uterus.’ 

From the way republicans speak about it, I can only assume they think that women are out getting knocked up on purpose just for the joy of having an abortion. This is an utter fallacy and largely an attack against women by people who do not even own a uterus. Santorum says that “rape babies are gifts from God” and that raped women who become pregnant should just “make the best of it.” I think this is disgusting ideology, and I hope none of these idiots that support the same have a teenage daughter that is assaulted and becomes pregnant. The mere thought of forcing a young woman to bear a pregnancy as a result of a crime committed against her body is revolting at best, misogyny at worst. They have even proposed redefining rape to make it easier for men to hurt women. Under this proposition, a woman could not claim legal protection if she does not aggressively attempt to fight off her attacker, even if she must sustain injury to do so. Arkansas and Kansas are in the middle of passing legislation making it ok for a woman’s doctor to lie to her – yes, LIE to her! - if something is wrong with her baby, if in the doctor’s opinion it might make the woman/parents more likely to seek an abortion. I find this to be among the most disturbing legislation currently being proposed. If a woman can no longer trust her doctor, because the state has mandated what medical information she can or cannot receive about her own health and the health of her unborn child, the ethics governing the medical profession have become severely crippled. The lines of trust have already been breached by so-called “conscience” laws that allow pharmacists to turn women away from their prescribed medications if they have some religious objection to them. If you are a pharmacist or other medical professional who cannot objectively provide services to the public, then you are in the wrong profession. People depend on receiving comprehensive medical care; it is not in the public’s best interest to have certain individuals contesting access to such care based on their personal religious affiliations or beliefs. I mean, how upset would you be if you went to Chili’s and ordered your baby back ribs, only to have your Muslim or Rastafarian server tell you it would be “against his/her religion” to serve your order containing pork? You’d likely be baffled at first, but then you might get a little ticked off. After all, it isn’t the server who is eating the meal, right? And this is a very minor example. 

Of course, I also feel that politicians should also be held to that same standard of unbiased decision making. We are not a religious government, and for any politician to openly advocate for religious doctrine in our laws directly conflicts with our governing documents. Any politician who violates the respect for other religions (or nonreligious persons) should be removed from office if they obviously cannot remain impartial to the entire populace. Newt Gingrich made this point crystal clear when he told a gay man that if he wanted any representation in government that he should vote for President Obama. We need officials who are willing to represent all manner of peaceful lifestyles and religious choices, not leaders who openly discriminate against particular groups or members of society. If we allowed the majority to vote on the rights of the minority, the minority still would not have any rights. 

One of the main tenets that granted women the ability to progress in this country was the advent of allowing them to make their own reproductive choices. Gone are the days where we were nothing more than baby-making machines and uneducated housewives. Statistics show that women now outnumber men in having college degrees, and are moving closer towards being the breadwinners in the majority of American households. I imagine this evolution is greatly feared by the GOP, as educated women typically lean democratic. After all, it was progressive ideology that granted women the right to vote in the first place. 

I think the GOP is right to be fearful of women; we have the power to crush them. Women make up the largest part of the voting electorate, and I would argue that most women, regardless of their personal feelings, would ultimately not take away another woman’s authority to make such reproductive decisions on her own. This is our greatest strength as a collective group; we understand the gravity of such circumstances and that each woman must make her choices for herself –without the pendulum of a religious government swaying over her. The women who came before us certainly understood this, and it is up to today’s young women to make it clear that we will not allow the clock to be pushed backwards. We will not sit by and quietly wait for women to be stripped of their rights by religious dogma. We must voraciously stand against any attempt to place women at a lower socioeconomic standing than men, or to deprive women of equal protection and treatment under the law. We will not be forced into historical irrelevance. We will not waver and we will not compromise on our rights to access comprehensive, scientifically-sound medical care.

On a personal note, I certainly could not ever see myself getting an abortion. However, I would be mortified if under a circumstance I felt life threatening, either physically or emotionally, I were to be forbade by a religiously bias government. Personally, I think the government is the last source that should be allowed to dictate what I can and can not do with my body.

*Personally, I tend to swing Republican (VOTE RON PAUL!) but as with any major organization there are flaws... this being one of the most outlandish.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Let's Talk About SEX

Actually, let's talk about intimacy. That's what I really want to understand more. I'm not sure if anyone will understand what I mean when I say I can easily have sex without being emotionally involved. Does that make me sound slutty? Or modern? Or like a douche bag dude? Ah well... either way, it's the truth. I've made it through 8 years of being sexually active without being particularly emotionally involved with whoever I was with... including a 5 year marriage. Sex was sex, man. Blame it on my mental super power to emotionally disassociated or the stint I spent as a pre-teen being abused, but it's just the way it is.

Until I met Brett. That's a whole 'nother story.

I went my entire first pregnancy without any desire. I was with my best friend and we had made a baby and we were satisfied. I mean in that way too... like for a year! But now I'm pregnant again but this time things are different. My relationship with my beau is much younger so the desire is naturally there but now we are incapable of connecting on a physical level. But I miss the intimacy that surrounded the act. I miss the before and the after... I mean like mad crazy miss it. I'm struggling to find a way to get near him despite our strict restrictions for baby's sake. We both seem to be at a loss, and I don't like the effect of the cause.

Any advice?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I miss you!

... but I'll be back soon. Promise, promise.

On a light, yet spicy note:

Monday, March 5, 2012


My goodness! I'm THRILLED to announce that 

Lena at Mom2MemphisandRuby

WON my giveaway! 

I am delighted so many of you entered and I'm looking forward to hosting another soon!


For those of you who are avid readers, I do apologize for my lack of presence. I have been laid up with strict computer privileges as we try to keep our baby boy put for a few more days!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Cork Board Make Over DIY

 I apologize in advance for not thinking through the fact that the craft blended so well into my carpet... it makes it a bit more difficult to see, but alas, it is the way it is!

My biggest problem with decorating is figuring out what to hang on my walls. I get SO nervous I usually live for months with empty blank walls. As usual though, I was sitting on my couch and an idea hit me. I have an excess of cork boards and some pretty amazing vintage fabric. Nearly 20 minutes laters, here is what I made for the blank wall above my desk:

These are the materials I used:

cork board
Loctite spray glue
vintage fabric
x-acto knife
acrylic paint/paintbrush

1. Measure and cut fabric to size of board.
2. Spray board with glue and affix fabric. (photo fail, sorry Peeps!)
3. Trim excess fabric by cutting along edge of cork board.
4. Paint frame of cork board.

I found some (better) examples on Pinterest... an idea is hardly ever original, eh?

Pin It

Friday, March 2, 2012

Chickadette v Modern Medicine... Again

I have found myself in this position twice now in my life. Should I dare a home birth or rely on the safety of modern medicine to deliver my child? I respect, and extremely admire, the women who are comfortable and capable of being at peace with home birth. I think it shows a strong sense of comfort and maturity to take on such a daunting task. As much as I wish I were like that, I tend to appreciate the advancements of modern medicine and most importantly, a woman's access to knowledge and her rights. Also, the Southern Belle in me cringes at the thought of having to deal with all that mess. *shivers*

I made a trip to my ob-gyn to see my mid-wife because after three days of shooting pains I began to get concerned that my cervix was opening. I was right, instincts seldom let me down. What I wasn't aware of were the contractions that were presenting themselves in ways I was unfamiliar with. I barely noticed them but they landed me in Room 102 for 2 days and 2 nights. My doctor's office works with two on call CNM's. One of which is completely supportive, and encouraging, of my all natural attempt (and previous success) at child birth. She delivered my other baby... au naturale... in a hospital. Yes! It's possible! The other has a tendency to rely on protocol and drugs. Of course, she was the nurse on call. It is a strict policy at my local hospital to prevent and discourage at all costs the delivery of a pre-term baby. The limit is 34 weeks. My timeline marks me 33 weeks. Within hours of being admitted, with only irregular "contractions" showing, it was brought to my attention that for precaution sake it was being suggested that I be given a triple dose of a drug called Brethine to 'relax the uterus'... basically stop the contractions. 

I immediately began asking questions. 

For one, I hadn't even been checked to see if my cervix was widening further. So perhaps these pains weren't labor but rather 'uteran discomfort' as one of the nurses kept suggesting. Second, the 33 week mark is at best, a lucky guess. The truth is, we have nearly a 4 week open window of when he was actually conceived. Third, I wasn't uncomfortable in the least and Declan was just as active and happy and showing no signs of distress what so ever on his little monitor. I have to admit, nearly 3 days of listening to his heartbeat made my heart swoon. 

I asked what the facts of and risks are to taking the medication. I was only going to be administered it because they were nervous about his lungs being under developed. The medicine wouldn't actually stop labor, just slow it down so they could transfer me. (Slow it down? Was it even going?) The most common side effects were the baby being born 'listless and unresponsive for some time' but generally they were 'ok'. Um, what the hell? I think my heart literally (insert Rob Lowe voice) skipped a beat. I asked for a minute and talked it over with Brett. I certainly didn't want my baby born and then immediately incubated because his little lungs are underdeveloped. However, I felt even more strongly against fighting nature and perhaps causing him more harm. When the nurse came back in she then told me the side effects for me but made sure I 'not worry' because there were more drugs they could administer to fight off those side effects. Sick cycle carousel for sure it sounded like to me!

The nurse returned to the phone to notify the on call midwife that I was not willing to take the Brethine. She then returned stating that they were going to check my cervix (Oh? Now?) and if I had made any change they were going to have to transfer me to another hospital more capable of delivering a pre-term baby. Ouch, is that my arm being twisted? I believe so. However, I am smart enough to know that I actually can refuse treatment. So, no contest. To me, standing my ground was an easy choice to make. I kept my system clean, which is what I strongly feel is best for us both, and all I have to 'suffer' is a 30 minutes ambulance ride (which, admittedly, seems a little exciting to my inner drama queen) and a different (probably nicer) hospital room? Done. Wouldn't you know it? They checked my cervix and found I'd only progressed half a centimeter and nothing was necessary? How 'bout that? I spent another night in bed and after another examination was sent home to wait it out. Drug free. I have 6 days until I can deliver locally. I don't mind in the least keeping my feet up for such a short amount of time!

It may seem like a simple win, but it's extremely daunting to be in an unfamiliar space with 'professionals' insisting on 'what's best' and reminding you how much more experience they have than you. Truth is, I'm actually a push over and easily manipulated. It's taken me years to learn that I find it easiest to keep my mouth shut, listen, respond with simple answers, and hold my ground. It also helps to have support. I am extremely blessed to have a banging support system.

On a funny note, here's a What I Wore post for you!

Gown: Courtesy of Hospital... oddly liberating
Socks: most comfy everrr

Check it:

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