I'll tell you what, I hate bitching at my kids! Unfortunately, they're the perfect age for it. I hear from many people that they will always be at the perfect age for it. Ha! You should hear my father in law unload on my husband, still. It makes me giggle! Seriously though... it's 105 degrees outside today and they're spending the whole day inside with me and the hardest part of parenting so far is keeping them wrangled without losing my grip. "Close the door!" "Don't run in the house!" "Optimus Prime is NOT a baseball!" "Clean up... anything!" I try to give my boys options and encourage them to make the best decision they can figure out. "You could clean your room now and not have to spend as much time cleaning it tomorrow or you could just play all day today and not get to tomorrow." So far they still always just wait until 'tomorrow'. Then it's a constant battle all day that will most likely end with punishment. It is such a frustrating way to spend the day. Most of the time, my 'grip' is defined as 'level headed discipline without feeling guilty'. Aiden has been spending a lot of time in the corner and I don't think O'Ryan has gotten to play with his video game more than a couple of hours this whole week. This could easily become a post about stepping up to the plate as a parent who chooses to raise their own children versus the parent who allows their children to raise themselves. I digress. I consider myself a good mother and like others I try to find a balance between letting them do whatever the heck they want and getting them to do something constructive. Ha!
Anyway, Aiden's new favorite stance is "Mom, you know you're being mean to your kids!" I'm not kidding! He comes to me after he stands in the corner and complains to me about how he's being raised. He's 5. FIVE. I'll admit, it's actually hard to not let him talk his way out of it sometimes. I literally remind myself that he's 5 and I'm his mother and there's no way on God's green Earth that he has managed to learn enough to raise himself. It doesn't hurt his argument that I really don't like fussing at him either. So asking him to do something I know he doesn't want to, arguing with him to get it done, bitching at him for not doing it, punishing him for not doing it, and then consoling him after he has gotten in trouble is a task I'd love to not master; BUT, I'm a good Mom. I'll be darned if I don't pass along the skills and life lessons I was taught by my parents, no matter how frustrating it can get. They never gave up on me and I'm all the better for it.
Words of encouragement are always helpful and when I found this I had to have it:
We'll see how it all works out. Fingers crossed, my good boys will become good men!
It sounds like you are having quite the day. I love that you give your kids choices, and try to teach them about natural consequences. This is going to make them such better adults in the long run! You are an awesome mom =)
ReplyDeleteMY guess is your good boys will make very good men someday - just based on the fact that you are taking the time to actually be their parent, and because you analyze yourself honestly. Lots of bloggers announce "Nope, nothing to see here. Just my children made of sunshine and roses and perfect manners," and that can be a worrying stance. No one is perfect, but you and your family sound wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI think you have nothing to worry about, Chickadette. My parents pretty much lived their lives by that quote, and drove me crazy in the process. BUT I could not be any more thankful for them now than I already am. I was so lucky to have them as my parents. They didn't do everything right, but they tried their best. I think even kids can understand that, and one day, grow to respect it. I think you're a good mom, too. Don't be so hard on yourself. :)
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