I was just watching Guitar Center Sessions with Nic Harcourt. I have not previously made an effort to watch the show but the guest was Gary Allen. I've been a sucker for 'Watching Airplanes' since I was a little girl riding in the back seat daydreaming out of the window. Well, listening to his influences (i.e. Johnny Cash to 70's punk rock) and hearing of his 'Country music is about Monday through Friday' and telling the truth about every aspect of life helped me to connect a bit more. For example, his cover of Vertical Horizon's single 'Best I Ever Had' was not just a cover... his wife had committed suicide and his writing was stunted and so he chose a song to cover in lieu of writing one because he just, couldn't. That basically covers my obsession with music. I listen to relate to the emotion and to realize the feeling is mutual with people, strangers in the same state of mind make the world feel smaller... because I can't do it myself, no talent in that department. I've made peace with that.
Nic Harcourt asked an amazing question during the interview. He asked if Gary experienced 'some sort of emotional exorcism' when he wrote. What a stunning question and how startling to realize the answer is true to me as well, 'Oh, yes.' He described the occurrence as therapeutic and it came to me, as it has several times during slow moments in my mind, that music has always been a resounding force in my life. Every moment is relatable to some genre, some emotion, some song. Perhaps that's what's been missing. The only time I listen to music any more is in the car, and I'm subjected to some radio dj's playlist. Now's about the time I commandeer this ship and bring back some soul. Besides, my life isn't the kind of life that can be sustained by watching someone else's life happen.