Tuesday, April 17, 2012

HelloCotton Blog Hop!


Welcome to Tuesday's Blog Hop - Let's Have Fun #2!!

Your Host:

This Week's Co-Hosts:

For those of you who do not know what Hellocotton is...

Hellocotton allows you to follow for free the most talented women bloggers out there. It is the easiest way to discover the latest on trends and to take on a daily dose of inspiration. Hellocotton also allows you to comment, vote and share it all with your friends.

Go and sign up to Hellocotton so that you can join in this Blog Hop.

RULES:

1- Follow your hosts.  
They are the first 8 in the linky and they will follow you back.

2- Link up your Hellocotton link (not your blog).

3- Check out the other blogs on the list and follow some.

4- Grab the button below and place it somewhere on your blog.
This is will help increase the success of this Blog Hop.
You can even Facebook or Tweet about it.

The DIY Dreamer
<div align="center"><a href="http://thediydreamer.blogspot.com" title="The DIY Dreamer"><img src="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d189/lexieex/The%20DIY%20Dreamer/BlogHopFun1.png" alt="The DIY Dreamer" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

HAVE FUN with the Blog Hop!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Hartwell Dam + What I Wore

This is Hartwell Dam:


Hartwell Dam is really badass because you can walk across it. Like, all the way from one end to the other.
 The lake is on one side and this huuuuge drop and the Savannah River on the other side. 
It's pretty crazy being up there.

Brett had never been so while I was still (9 months) pregnant we drove to Hartwell and ventured out to walk across, hoping to encourage the baby to come. I climbed something similar to 3 flights of stairs and walked out nearly a mile to the middle of the dam. The baby didn't even bother moving but we got some pretty awesome photos!


See? Waaay down!







Saturday, April 14, 2012

Eventually Karma Runs Out

"I think that when I die it will be from exhaustion of managing the constant struggle between fate and choice." -Me

Yet again I'm standing at the foot end of a project that once completed could be one of the most crowning achievements of my life. It is going to be so hard. Most people buy a house. I'm salvaging one. It's going to take a long time, a lot of elbow grease and so much blood, sweat, and tears I cringe at the thought of Summer 2012. I want it though, and I want it bad. But why, again, does it have to be so hard!? In a moment of weakness and exasperation Thursday I asked the following question:

"Why does it seem that everything I get or want I have to work ten times harder than most people? I don't mind really, but why can't I be one of those girls that just gets the things she wants?"

And then this was said:

"Eventually Karma runs out and you're given an opportunity to take an easier path."

Wait. What?

Really?

I haven't been able to stop thinking about that line for days. Have there been times like this that passed in my life? Times where an easier path was offered to me and yet I chose to take the harder one? It makes me sick to think that, or realize that, I deliberately chose to make my life more difficult. *Note here that I consider the life I've lived thus far to have been hard and I obviously don't feel as though anything has really been given to me. At least anything that I haven't squandered.

Perhaps it was the time I was offered the chance as a teenager to move in with my father and stepmother. I would have been catapulted from a strenuous stressful childhood into a comfortable life where I could have focused on myself and my goals and would have had people to help me and guide me and encourage me. I chose to stay behind because I felt an extreme need to be with my siblings, in an environment that left me no time to focus on myself.

Perhaps it was the time I was offered the chance to model for The Ford Agency. God only knows the opportunity that would have risen from such a once in a life time offer. Although it was decided for me, I did follow order and stay on the path that was laid out for me by well meaning grandparents. I was only 17 but I still regret not being strong enough to reach for the support of those who were offering to help me take control of my dreams.

Perhaps it was the time I was offered the chance to attend the University of Michigan... a school I no doubt would have had a greater chance of succeeding at considering there was significantly less distraction. I chose instead to follow a boy to the University of Georgia... we broke up three days before classes started. I majored in whiskey. I dropped out before the end of the year.

Perhaps it was the time I chose to abandon responsibility and float through the next 7 years without really making any hard decisions or putting any real effort into taking control of my life and forcing the direction I wanted to go. I basically floated downstream, without a paddle, working only to keep my head above the water.

This past year I've become stronger and more aware of what I expect from myself and my life. I have decided that through the past years I've worked so hard to fulfill goals and dreams and expectations that weren't mine. I've followed the leader down all of the paths that seemed right but actually were all wrong. If I redirect that energy and desire to please others into an energy and desire to please myself,  I'll succeed as a mother and a wife and get what I want for myself too. Then maybe I won't look back on these years and think of them as another hard road leading no where, but a hard road leading to exactly where I want it to.

I'm not going to give up on fate though. I think instead that I'll accept it, take control of it, and direct it rather than continue with the passive aggressive acceptance I've mastered.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Covert Robin Gift Exchange

I was lucky enough to get to be a part of The Covert Robin Gift Exchange for March! I think so far, I've gotten the BEST gift out there! I wish I had a picture of my face when I opened it. I was thrilled! Check it:

the covert robin button

pritty tings

Hi Chickadette readers, Kristin here from Australia.  I blog over at pritty tings and was assigned Ashley to make my (not so covert now) gift for!!!  As I hadn't come across Ashley's blog before I immediately checked her out.  Hmm what to make for Ashley??? After a week or so pondering this and checking out her posts and pinterest boards, I received some purse frames that I had ordered from Etsy and that was that, I was going to make her (my very first) framed clutch!  I used this U-Handbag - Straight Edge Purse Frame as a reference for making the clutch.  However I wanted a different shape to the one in the tutorial so I drew out my own pattern as the tutorial suggests, using the frame I had.

Once I had the template, I cut all the pieces I needed.
I used drill (yellow), fusible fleece (not suggested in tutorial but I added it for a bit of protection, iron on heavy woven interfacing (sew-in is suggested but I only had iron on and it worked) and a fabric placemat for the lining (blue and white patterned) they were already stiff so I didn't use a second lot of interfacing.
For the VW beetle, I just drew the VW picture onto some baking paper, re-drew over the pencil with permanent marker on top of paper (as you look at it now), marked where I wanted the beetle to sit with pins in the fabric then flipped it over and positioned the picture between the pins (marker side to the fabric).  I ironed the paper, this caused the image to be transferred to the back of the fabric so I had a guide to follow when stitching the beetle on.

Once I had it stitched on, I simply (or not so simply when it came to the tight corners) followed the tutorial to sew it up and glue it in to the frame.

So that's it, I hope you like your gift Ashley and thanks for having me on your blog.
Kindest regards
Kristin

Friday, April 6, 2012

So there's this link up...

I was found by a chick named Natalie and so I visited her blog, like ya do, and it is awesome.
Spoonful Of Sugar

On her blog I found this pretty banging link up!
Photobucket

"3 Favorite Songs"

Are you flipping kidding me? How could I resist? Mama loves her tunes!

Fortunately/unfortunately I have a tight list of 50 Top 3 Favorite Songs categorized by genre and so on.

Here are 3 random 5 Star Rating ones chosen by my iTunes.

"Polite Dance Song" by The Bird and The Bee / Album: Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future


"I Would Do Anything For You" by Foster The People / Album: Torches


"Canopy Shade" by Trophy Wife / Album: Bruxism


Watch this video... for reals.

*Click the link up photo to join us!


Coo-Coo-Kachoo, Mrs. Robinson

Hey, you.  I'm Mrs. Robinson from My New Wife Life.

I'm so excited to be blogging for Ashley Marie while she's busy meeting someone who comes a result from a particular type of busyness.  ;)  Even though I am not a mom at this point in my life (unless you count our chihuahua, Zombie, as a child), I am so excited for Ashley and can't wait to see pictures of her wittle baby's cheeks!  Baby cheeks get me every time.  =)   Anywho..happy to be here!  I hope you'll stop by my blog and say hi sometime.  We already know we have one thing in common...we both think Ashley is awesome.

...
I was THIS close to sharing with y'all my "recipe" for homemade guacamole.  This close!  But...I really wanted to write about something that has a little more life.  Not to say that avocados don't have life.  They totally do.  I just...I felt like a guacamole recipe was a little vanilla.  Sorry if that's confusing....I don't put any vanilla in my guacamole dip.  Anyway.  I'm going to write about quirks.

One of the things that Ashley & I have in common is that we are two quirky gals raised in places with low quirk-tolerances. =)  So..today, I'm going to share some of my quirks with y'all.  I'd love to hear about your quirks, too!  

(1)  I raised in a place where tattoos, especially on women, are considered trashy. 
I have 5.

(2)  No matter what...I cannot park a car.  It will never be straight.  It will never be within the lines.  It's not in the cards for me.  

(3)  I'm a walking contradiction in more ways than not.  I love pickles, but hate vinegar.  I am a fan of egg salad sandwiches, but I don't like eggs.  The list goes on and on. 

(4)  I was raised in a place full of people who do not condone drinking.  
I love vodka and wine.  

(5)  My favorite joke (and I always use it to break the ice...even though it sometimes makes the ice a little harder) is:  "So there were two penguins on an iceberg.  One penguin says to the other penguin, "hey.  it looks like you're wearing a tuxedo."  And the second penguin says, "who says I'm not?"

(6)  I like to pop things.  Bubble wrap,  obviously.  Pimples.  Blackheads.  My husbands blackheads.  My daddy's bumps.  Chewing gum.  It's gross and I love it.  I could seriously mess with my face for hours.  

(7)  The password to our wifi is rubpeanutbutteronyourcactus.  Why?  Because I smoked too much pot back in the day and those are the types of things that pop into my head without warning or reason.  And obviously, I immediately send those one-liners to my hubby in a text.  Some of them stick, some of them don't.  This one stuck.  =) 

(8)  Being from a small, southern town I was taught to respect my elders, mind my manners, and hold my tongue.  Well....I only respect people who I find to be respectable.  I could care less how old they are.  Speaking of respectable people, they're the only ones who will ever witness my manners.  And if you visit my blog more than twice, you'll figure out plenty about how often I hold my tongue.  

(9)  I lose my cell phone several times each day.  It drives my husband crazy because he is always coming to the rescue.  He doesn't understand why I can't simply remember where I put my cell phone.  I can remember where I put almost everything...except the one thing I use the most.

...
What are your quirks?! 






Photobucket

Thursday, April 5, 2012

What I Wore? My Baby!


Oh ma gosh, ya'll...

I HAVE THE BEST BABY EVER!

Only a few days old and such a dream we were able to take him out. Thanks to our Boba Baby Wrap it is super easy to do so! By far it has been the best gift I received from my baby wish list. It is comfy for me and my baby, stylish, and Brett can wear it too! My favorite thing about it, and why I love it more than the Baby Bjorn I wore with Aiden, is how securely Declan is strapped to me and how he is still able to bend his little noggin to look up at me. Seriously, I love this wrap. Go buy one!


So here I am, outside of Wal-Mart, getting my picture snapped.

I'm wearing a black tank top, a lace and ruffle vest, jeans, and my loafers.

I'm also wearing my Darling Declan baby! 

<3

Check back tomorrow for another guest post! I am totally smitten with Mrs. Robinson. This summer we're going to hang out and it's going to be awesome. She'll be guest posting tomorrow and you'll love it!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

xoxo, Lena

Hey people & friends of Ashley's!
I'm so happy to be here guest posting on Chickadette while her & her little guy get acquainted! 
(Congrats girl!)
 
My name is Lena and I blog over at Mom2MemphisAndRuby.
I'm a working mom of 2... they're crazy cute and a total handful!
I love tattoos, nail polish, books, scary movies and meeting new friends through blogging!



Mom 2 Memphis And Ruby
One thing I've learned through blogging is how important it is to stay true to yourself.  In the blogging world this means blogging about what is important to you, and not worrying about numbers or if you'll ever fit into that ''popular blog clique.'' 
(blogging mimics real life guys... and it's not a bad thing to be in the popular group, just remember it's okay to NOT be in it too!)

In real life this can be even more challenging.
(Blog Me is way more confident!) 

You see, I grew up in a small town, and I moved away to the big city for a while and totally loved it... but guess what?  We're living the small town life again and that's okay.  Best place to raise our family, for sure!  BUT I always remind myself that just because I live in a small town doesn't mean I have to act like it! haha!

For my 32nd birthday, I was itching for something I'd been wanting for a long time.  What was it, you ask?
A nose piercing! Doesn't seem that crazy, does it?

Well, for years I kept thinking about what my boss, or my kids' teachers, or my co-workers or my MOM would say!  It really  annoyed me that I wasn't doing it because of what others *might* think.  That's not how I roll!  I enjoy being "unique"...
Enough was enough.  I figured all those people already knew the real me and accepted me for what I am (tattoos & all), so a nose piercing wouldn't be that big of a deal.

My sister teased me that I was '' TOO OLD'' to do something like get my nose pierced.  Say what!?  
So I had my doubts... again.
 But a trip to the city to visit my bestie convinced me to finally to do it!

 My sister was wrong!  
I LOVE it and have gotten tons of compliments on it... mostly from the people I was worried about in the first place, go figure!

A lady who works at the daycare my daughter attends, even told me she thought it was ''sexier'' that I had waited until I was older.  I loved that!  Yes, I'm a woman now.  I'm a mom, I work in an office.. but I'm more than that.  I'm confident, and I'm cool!  ;)

The ''point'' isn't my nose piercing.  For anyone following my blog you're probably totally sick of hearing about it... it's just the easiest way for me to explain my point...
That being true to you, is where it's at.  
My nose piercing is just one little thing that makes me... Me.
And I'm proud of that!
As a mom, there's not much I do just for "me" anymore.
And this was totally selfish, and totally for me.
And it made me really happy.



 What are some of the things that you've done just for YOU?  Are there things you haven't done because you're worried what others will say?  I'm here to say... go for it!

Come visit Mom2MemphisAndRuby sometimes,
it can be a pretty cool place to hangout!  ;)



Monday, April 2, 2012

I'M BACK! I HAD A BABY!

Remember the post about coming back with a vengeance? Well, here goes! 

I am thrilled to announce the birth of our Darling Declan.

I went to my check up on Thursday and they sent me to the hospital. 2 hours later, after 10 minutes of labor, he was here! I couldn't be more pleased with him. He is a dream baby. A textbook sleeper, eater, and snuggler.


I'm preparing my posts but be sure to stay tuned for some amazing guest posts from a few of my bloggy besties! First up, Lena from Mom2MemphisandRuby is sharing a post on my blog tomorrow!

<3
Mama Ashley Marie

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Therapy Sesh Lession and Anxiety Sucks


Last week was rough, as I have heard was common for so many people! The cool thing about it? 

That it passed. 

We made it through and now we're rolling down hill, with the wind in our hair and the sun shining on our backs!

I'll share with you one of the most amazing things I learned in therapy this past year.

In a session I spent grieving over my frequent losing battles with depression and anxiety I explained how I felt a failure for not being able to control my emotions and keep the positive outlook that I loved so much.

It was suggested that instead of fighting the negative that I just go with it. Ride it out. Let it do it's thing and move forward, knowing that it would pass. Emotions often correspond with stages in life and like a roller coaster are constantly up and down... but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong or that there's a need for medication or other things.

The trick is to learn to find the common ground. When you're experiencing an extreme high, enjoy it but know that it will pass. Likewise, when you're experiencing an extreme low, stay focused and know that it will pass and the good times will be back.

Acknowledging this has saved my sanity.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why?

 
Why?


"I know a psychic who reads her own palms and the finding are personal."
&
"But I am still alive and loving wide eyed in my time and not a mummy shrinking in it's cloths."

I have an odd fascination with lyrics. The words that people align with instruments evoke emotion. I have had some pretty intense thoughts provoked from my mind by this band. They're totally worth looking up. They connect detailed, sometimes horrific, lyrics with an upbeat that catches rythym in a very appealing way.

"Even though I have seen you in years, yours is a funeral I'd fly to from anywhere."

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Ya Got That Right

Perusing through Facebook today, like ya do, I came across something really awesome. A quote, from a girlfriends' boyfriend (who happens to be an amazing photographer), that put everything into perspective. Without too much explanation and a list of reasons I have for deleting myself socially from the internet, here's what he said.

"I just don't have the time to be getting older."
-Russell Dryer

I have decided to continue my little break from daily blogging and continue to get my affairs in order. I have big, BIG plans that I need to plan for. I hope you don't mind. I promise to be back with a vengeance... so stay in touch! In the meantime, enjoy some of Russell's work. I often find myself admiring his photography! A unique perspective and quality talent seem to be taken for granted by the ever growing photography fad. He's based out of Atlanta... where the cool kids are.


 

 

 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Go Jump Off a Bridge... Like Me!

I wrote a guest post for Lena at Mom2MemphisandRuby and it's up today! 

It's all about that time I jumped off a bridge... and lived!

to awesomeness


Aaaaaaaaaaaaand speaking of guest posts, 
I'm still in need of a few!
The babies getting close so I'm dotting my i's and crossing my t's.

Remember:
So get with it and hit me up!

chickadette@gmail.com

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Dream Come True

Charleston Fashion Week 2012 is what's happenin' in South Carolina right now. I wish I could be there but we all know why I can't be... (ahem - baby bump). I have been patiently waiting to log this mini memoir about how lucky and how awesome my experience was when I, Ashley Marie, got a chance to walk a real runway in front of a butt load of people.

I was one of those awkwardly skinny and tall teenage girls that really didn't have a figure. If I wasn't a victim of blatant jealousy (that I didn't understand... I wanted curves) I was repeatedly told, "You should be a model!" Ummm... yeah right. Pretty was not something I felt I had going for me. Then, at 22, I had a baby... I sure as hell knew it wasn't going to happen then. Who wants to look at stretch marks and thighs? Turns out, people like girls with figures. Imagine that! You can read about my first real photo shoot (at age 24) here: That Time I Was a Pin Up Model. Fast forward a couple of months and read about how those photos landed me my first runway show here: Cavortress Part 3. Julie Wheat, designer/creator of Cavortress was amazing and passed my information to an agency in Charleston that signed me just a few weeks after that... at age 25! I was on my way... I was ecstatic. I was floored. I looked so completely different than the other girls. For one, I'd given birth and there were signs of that. Two, I had tattoos. Three, I was over the age of 20. I was lucky enough to be asked back for another show late that summer where it was insisted that I audition for Charleston Fashion Week. 

Ya gotsta be kidding me. I heard they were expecting 9000, yes... 'THOUSAND', people to attend!

I showed up though... and walked. 800 girls auditioned from 3 different states. 60 of us were chosen. Although I was picked by three designers to walk - a break up with my abusive ex cost me the early morning fittings for 2 of them. Bastard. Luckily, I still made it in time to the fitting for featured designer Jamie Lin Snider! She's originally from Vegas and has a client list of awesome people like Kat Von D! I really remember the whole thing as if it were a dream... but I have proof it happened! Check it:

Everyone else had apartments or hotel rooms, 
I snuck into the 4 star hotel next door and got ready in the bathroom... 
cuz I was broke and I'm supa fly like that. 
 This was our practice walk the night before the big show...
"that's a loooong way to walk" was all I kept thinking.
I am not gonna lie, I seriously considered backing out.

 This is me backstage before the show, after hair and make up.
All we did was wait and watch the other shows.
We're all staring at a flat screen here,
I assumed the other girls were working up courage like I was...
 Yeah, so I wear a 7 1/2. My shoes were a 6 1/2.
I was able to pull it off to the designers relief because I was raised by a Southern grandmother
who often informed me that 'it hurts to be pretty'.
 Backstage before the show! The photographer caught me in a ridiculous stance.
In my defense, I seriously thought I was going to fall off of the runway so I practiced.
Over. And over. And over.
I walked around for ever it seemed with my hands on my hips.

Here I am! Posed at the end of the runway!
Shaking like a leaf on the inside...
threatening myself if it showed on the outside.
Walking in front of hundreds of people to a wall of dozens of 
photographers with flashing lights is quite a daunting task.
I thought I was going to pass out, if not start crying!

Here is an edited video of the show. The beginning makes it real doesn't it? I clipped the video and I appear second at 2:15 if you want to jump ahead. Around 9:30 the guy holding my camera (aka Bubba Bryant... from Army Wives. Uh, yes! Bragging corner: I kinda dated him for 2 days... I had no idea who he was until he was flocked by screaming girls in the parking garage... word.) does a round about to capture the audience. I think my face is hilarious. I blacked out as soon as I started walking and stepped around the corner and didn't regain consciousness until I was standing in front of the photographers. I really don't ever want to do it again. I kept telling everyone who came up to me afterward I was probably the only model there that didn't want to be there. Although in hind sight, I conquered a bashful fear and nailed it! Boo-ya.




Soooo, yes. That's about it. Except for the dozens of pictures of dozens of experiences I had while down there, which I'll share with you tomorrow. I loved every minute of it (minus the actual show... I still shiver thinking of it) but honestly, I can say, I am glad that I did not pursue a career of runway modeling. I much prefer studio modeling, there's much more pressure but a lot less eyes!

Thanks for listening to me recollect the awesomeness that was one week of glory for me!

xoxo

Monday, March 19, 2012

Complete Crap-Out

Sorry I've been gone for so looong! I'm going to blame it on the baby... again. Truth is, I'm so tired. I am completely drained, ya know? With birthday parties and false labors and baby prep I haven't had much time to do anything but to blog mentally... so don't forget about me, there's SO MUCH that's going to be happening up in here (up in here! Love me some Busta Rhymes, mmm hmmmm)

ALSO, one day... I'm going to sit up all night and read back logs of your blogs. I feel guilty I haven't been around and I feel like a horrible bloggy friend for being so out of touch! I take my subscriptions to your blogs VERY seriously. xoxo

In the meantime, here's some stuff to check out:

1. Gurlfrand... PLEASE turn OFF your captcha... READ HOW HERE via Mrs. Robinson @ My New Wife Life

2. Mike Ness is so awesome. This is part of the reason why. READ WHY HERE

3. BUY THESE HERE ... because they'll be perfect for your summer wardrobe.
Zipper Pull Earring With Multi Strand Neon Pink & Neon Orange Chain 
4. Wear the above earrings with this dress. BUY IT HERE
Gathered halter neck, formal, cocktail, backless, maxi dress. 

XOXO
<3 Ashley Marie

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Aiden Gray Makes His Video Debut


Aiden Gray loves watching You Tube videos of people transforming Transformer toys. This weekend he got a new Megatron toy for his birthday and asked Mimi to film him! The outcome was adorable! Below is a funny and matter of fact Aiden Gray way of explaining what he's got in his hands:


I absolutely LOVE how he ends it.

Sweet, sweet little boy.

<3

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

It's Birthday Party Crunch Time!

WOW what a week! Sex, Intimacy, Birth Control Politics... and now it's hump day! The goof ball in me just giggled a bit. However tempting it may be to continue this trend, I'm off to prepare for a birthday party... that is happening in 3 days! Think I can do it!?

Confession: It is THREE DAYS until Aiden's super awesome Dr. Seuss Carnival. I know... I totally failed at planning ahead. Truth is, I had planned to the max but the whole bed rest thing kind of hindered my plans. I've been assured though that 4 days is plenty of notice for parents. We'll see! I haven't done a blasted thing except make these banging invitations yesterday:
I started hand writing invitations that were going to be awesome little fish (1 Fish, 2 Fish...) but after an hour having made only 3, I realized that I could design the invites with awesome colors and pictures and have them photo printed at CVS for just a couple of bucks. I was right! It took me less than 10 minutes to design this one and I was able to pick them up in 15 minutes! Talk about easy! They turned out great!

{By the way, if you are ever in need of any sort of invite or announcement, as a hobby I like to create all sorts of paper goods... FOR FREE! Just email me and we'll collaborate.}

So on the schedule for the next few days:

1. Make Signs for Carnival Stations
     a. Thing 1 & Thing 2 Portrait Station
     b. One Fish Two Fish Fishing Hole
     c. Oobleck Station
     d. Whoville Face Painting Station
     e. Pin the Star on the Sneetch
2. Pick up party favors at Michaels.
3. Paint Party Favor Bags with Aiden & O'Ryan tonight.

I'll be updating this post as I go so stay tuned! Also, if you have any suggestions for more themed games, let me know... if we use your idea I'll send you something awesome!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Getcha Big Girl Panties On

I have been shocked (and slightly embarrassed) by the new Georgia House Bill 954. Just jump over to this article, aptly titled "Georgia Lawmaker Compares Women to Cows and Pigs" and you'll probably be mortified, at the very least offended too. I was going to write an article about what is going on down here in the good 'ol South but I have this friend who knows WAY more about the facts so I asked her to write it down. Tiffany and I share the same view on this topic. However, if you do not agree with us I ask only that you respect our opinion. This is NOT an article supporting abortion, rather an article supporting a woman's right to her body.

 

Religion, Birth Control and Healthcare Reform: 
How the Republican Lie Hurts Women 
By: Tiffany Smith, Atlanta, GA March 12, 2012

Government takeover. “Obamacare”. Abortion. These are a few of the biggest “fears” and brightest taglines of the GOP. 

First of all, I fear a religious takeover far more than our government extending hate-crime protection to minorities and granting access to healthcare for 30 million uninsured Americans. For all the Tea Taliban rhetoric about the Constitution, you’d think they had perhaps read it. “The government shall make no law respecting any religion.” This was an important enough concept that the Founding Fathers wrote it into the document that our government would build upon until the end of time. To have freedom of religion also means to be free FROM religion. Don’t try to force your religious propaganda into our laws, because not everyone agrees with you. This should not be a difficult concept to understand. America was not designed as a theocratic nation. If you want something like that, you should look to a country that employs it and see how well it is working out; say, Iran for example, where the Morality Police (yes, real morality police) roam the streets informing girls if what they are wearing is inappropriate and what time they should go home. I feel confident saying that most American women would agree this is not the model they would like to follow.

Now let’s talk about freedom of speech, religion, birth control and “Obamacare” (aka the Affordable Care and Patient Protection Act, “ACPPA”). It was painfully obvious that the GOP began this railing against preventative health care for women on the argument of “free speech” and “freedom of religion,” but it slowly progressed into outlining their true argument – that women should not necessarily be afforded birth control coverage under their insurance plans. I want to make clear that the original law already exempted religious institutions from the rule. The original law stated that if a religious institution only provides faith-based services and employment, meaning that they only employ and serve people who are of the same faith, then they would be fully exempt from the requirement; however, if the religious institution employs people or serves the public REGARDLESS of their faith, then they must comply with the law. I think this is perfectly reasonable; if you do not discriminate in who you provide services to, then you should not be allowed to discriminate against what healthcare options your employees receive. Employers cannot pick and choose which laws they would like to follow. They say that “corporations are people too,” and citizens certainly cannot choose which laws they will follow and which ones they won’t. 

The most abhorrent thing I find about this ruckus is that it seems to be primarily debated by men. Republicans recently held a widely-criticized all-male panel to discuss women’s access to contraception. They excluded any women from discussing their opinions on how the republican religious doctrine might affect the healthcare that women are eligible to receive. When democrats allowed the young woman, whom republicans had turned away from their panel, to speak, she was instantly insulted and received a barrage of disparaging comments, most notably being called a “slut” and a “prostitute”. This is how we speak about our educated young women? 

One of the things I find so offensive is that the big flap over birth control comes from a bunch of men who have no problem collecting their free “preventative” Viagra, which is covered by their insurance programs. Pat Buchanan recently had the audacity to answer this question by stating that “Viagra has been deemed a medication.” What, and birth control isn’t?? So in other words, it is perfectly ok for men to get their rocks off, but women are the only ones who should pay for it. It seems to escape these men that birth control is not used merely to prevent pregnancy; it has other medical uses as well. Co-pays for birth control typically range from $20-$50 out of pocket expense per month. That’s pretty expensive for a self-supporting woman in today’s economy. 

Not only are women under siege for using common methods of contraception, which over 98% of women use at some time in their life, but we have “personhood” amendments popping up all across the country. It is coming up for the THIRD time in Colorado this year – it has already been voted down by voters in the state TWICE, but republicans just can’t seem to respect what the voters have said. There should be “double jeopardy” style bans on that kind of legislation – once it is voted down it ought not ever be brought back up again. Wording something slightly differently and forcing voters to vote on it over and over again is very misleading. So-called personhood amendments are designed to make a woman responsible for her fetus from the moment of conception – never mind women don’t even usually know they’re pregnant until a month later. This ideology could be interpreted to interfere with common birth control methods, and even potentially give rise to a woman being charged with murder for having a miscarriage (as was proposed by Bobby Franklin in Georgia, carrying a sentence of life in prison or death!). 

It is worth noting that those who vehemently claim to be “pro-life” are usually also pro-war and pro-death penalty. 

Then we have politicians like Rick Santorum who want to fully outlaw a woman’s right to electively terminate her pregnancy, and in the meantime those who want to pass laws to humiliate a woman as much as possible when she is faced with that difficult decision. Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell just signed into law the anti-abortion bill requiring 24-hour wait periods and pre-abortion ultrasounds – a medically unnecessary state-mandated procedure intruding into your doctor’s office (not to mention your loins). The original form of the (much-ridiculed) bill mandated a ‘transvaginal ultrasound’ – forcing said object into your body against your will, practically the equivalent of being raped by office equipment. It was later changed to an external ultrasound requirement only amid all the public backlash. This is the most obvious hypocrisy in the battle cry for “smaller government”. I’m guessing they mean ‘small enough to reach into your uterus.’ 

From the way republicans speak about it, I can only assume they think that women are out getting knocked up on purpose just for the joy of having an abortion. This is an utter fallacy and largely an attack against women by people who do not even own a uterus. Santorum says that “rape babies are gifts from God” and that raped women who become pregnant should just “make the best of it.” I think this is disgusting ideology, and I hope none of these idiots that support the same have a teenage daughter that is assaulted and becomes pregnant. The mere thought of forcing a young woman to bear a pregnancy as a result of a crime committed against her body is revolting at best, misogyny at worst. They have even proposed redefining rape to make it easier for men to hurt women. Under this proposition, a woman could not claim legal protection if she does not aggressively attempt to fight off her attacker, even if she must sustain injury to do so. Arkansas and Kansas are in the middle of passing legislation making it ok for a woman’s doctor to lie to her – yes, LIE to her! - if something is wrong with her baby, if in the doctor’s opinion it might make the woman/parents more likely to seek an abortion. I find this to be among the most disturbing legislation currently being proposed. If a woman can no longer trust her doctor, because the state has mandated what medical information she can or cannot receive about her own health and the health of her unborn child, the ethics governing the medical profession have become severely crippled. The lines of trust have already been breached by so-called “conscience” laws that allow pharmacists to turn women away from their prescribed medications if they have some religious objection to them. If you are a pharmacist or other medical professional who cannot objectively provide services to the public, then you are in the wrong profession. People depend on receiving comprehensive medical care; it is not in the public’s best interest to have certain individuals contesting access to such care based on their personal religious affiliations or beliefs. I mean, how upset would you be if you went to Chili’s and ordered your baby back ribs, only to have your Muslim or Rastafarian server tell you it would be “against his/her religion” to serve your order containing pork? You’d likely be baffled at first, but then you might get a little ticked off. After all, it isn’t the server who is eating the meal, right? And this is a very minor example. 

Of course, I also feel that politicians should also be held to that same standard of unbiased decision making. We are not a religious government, and for any politician to openly advocate for religious doctrine in our laws directly conflicts with our governing documents. Any politician who violates the respect for other religions (or nonreligious persons) should be removed from office if they obviously cannot remain impartial to the entire populace. Newt Gingrich made this point crystal clear when he told a gay man that if he wanted any representation in government that he should vote for President Obama. We need officials who are willing to represent all manner of peaceful lifestyles and religious choices, not leaders who openly discriminate against particular groups or members of society. If we allowed the majority to vote on the rights of the minority, the minority still would not have any rights. 

One of the main tenets that granted women the ability to progress in this country was the advent of allowing them to make their own reproductive choices. Gone are the days where we were nothing more than baby-making machines and uneducated housewives. Statistics show that women now outnumber men in having college degrees, and are moving closer towards being the breadwinners in the majority of American households. I imagine this evolution is greatly feared by the GOP, as educated women typically lean democratic. After all, it was progressive ideology that granted women the right to vote in the first place. 

I think the GOP is right to be fearful of women; we have the power to crush them. Women make up the largest part of the voting electorate, and I would argue that most women, regardless of their personal feelings, would ultimately not take away another woman’s authority to make such reproductive decisions on her own. This is our greatest strength as a collective group; we understand the gravity of such circumstances and that each woman must make her choices for herself –without the pendulum of a religious government swaying over her. The women who came before us certainly understood this, and it is up to today’s young women to make it clear that we will not allow the clock to be pushed backwards. We will not sit by and quietly wait for women to be stripped of their rights by religious dogma. We must voraciously stand against any attempt to place women at a lower socioeconomic standing than men, or to deprive women of equal protection and treatment under the law. We will not be forced into historical irrelevance. We will not waver and we will not compromise on our rights to access comprehensive, scientifically-sound medical care.

On a personal note, I certainly could not ever see myself getting an abortion. However, I would be mortified if under a circumstance I felt life threatening, either physically or emotionally, I were to be forbade by a religiously bias government. Personally, I think the government is the last source that should be allowed to dictate what I can and can not do with my body.

*Personally, I tend to swing Republican (VOTE RON PAUL!) but as with any major organization there are flaws... this being one of the most outlandish.

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