NOTE: I believe every size is a gorgeous one. I think too often women are subjected to compare themselves to mass images of 'appropriate' size and shape. Honestly, I've not had to deal with it because I was always extremely small and underweight. Seriously, I've spent more time trying to gain weight than I have anything else. My goal/dream weight is 130. Still, dealing with not having a 'banging' figure for the second time in my life is harder this go around for some reason.
I have been trying to find ways to feel better about the whole ordeal and the first thing that comes to mind is what made me feel better the first go around. Quick backstory: I'm 5'7" and was 115 pounds when I was first pregnant with Aiden at 21. By the end of it, I had gained exactly the recommended 50 pounds and walked into the delivery room a plump 165. I never expected to be able to loose all of that weight and after 2 years of (not) trying, I settled in at 135... a weight I was actually extremely happy with. I was 'normal' and no longer plagued with glares in the mall or attacked with back handed remarks like "You're SO SKINNY... you make me sick!" followed by polite laughter as if it were meant to be a compliment. Although 135 took some getting used to (I had to sacrifice nearly my entire pre-pregnancy wardrobe and it seemed so much more) it was a worthy sacrifice to not be the focus of so many women's self hatred. something else - I was finally able to put the 'dream' of being an actual model behind me. There wouldn't be anyone who would want to take photos of me now.
or so I thought
Enter Grant Beecher. Through a business transaction at good old State Farm (that's right, I sold insurance for 3 years) and then a meeting later on Facebook, I found out that he was a photographer. His newest fascination was for pin up photography. As chance would have it, he was in need of a model for a shoot that was in jeopardy of being cancelled. To my dismay he said I was 'perfect' in terms of weight and measurements... just think, have you ever seen a pretty scrawny pin up chick?
A week later and I was sitting in the bathroom with an unbelievable stylist being painted and curled. I was then transported to a speedway and posed in front of a couple of gorgeous classic cars. It was November and freezing cold (I believe like 40 degrees at best). We weren't there an hour. I was under the impression that it was a 'practice' shoot and nothing good was expected to come of it. I got a text message a few hours later that read "You're going to be famous." I laughed hysterically and put it all out of my mind. Then he sent me an email. Here is what was developed:
|this image made it as the cover of his business card|
My first remark was how obviously skilled Grant was with Photoshop! No stretch marks, no flab, no nuthin! Turns out, he didn't have to tweak these babies at all. Say whaaaat!? Needless to say, my self confidence came flooding back! Grant insisted that I put a modeling portfolio online and see where these shots could take me...
|my first runway - Cavortress Spring 2010|
I landed a couple of shows with Julie Wheat of Cavortress.
She landed me a contract with an agency in Charleston, SC.
A connection at the agency landed me an audition for Charleston Fashion Week.
I was picked from 800 models to walk for Jamie Lin Snider's line JLINSNIDER.
Okay, so I was actually back down to like 115 pounds for Fashion Week... and you know what? I caught hell! My agency was annoyed. I have to admit, I love being thin and scrawny... When you don't have to worry about certain areas looking badly or fitting in the right spot or being proportionate life is easier! However, certain times call for a fuller figure!
So here's to embracing my hips... and thighs, tummy, and chest! The key I've found is knowing how to dress yourself. So get ready, you ladies are gonna be seeing a lot of vintage '50s looks post baby bump!