Sunday, January 22, 2012

Wish! {out loud} #6

Happy Wish! {out loud} Sunday! Robin, Krystina, and I are psyched you're here! Join us and share the love (and linky, too)! xoxo
*click here to read introductory post* 

I wish I was the best mom ever... and not just because my coffee cup says so.

It’s mid-morning and once again I find myself in my favorite environment… at a table in my local coffee shop sipping hot chocolate. At the table next to me are two children, one is nearly 5 years old and the other one 8 years old. They are smashing dominos on the glass top table, bickering over fairness, and making such a ruckus I can’t believe their mother is allowing them to get away with it. Oh yeah, that’s right. They’re MY children. Suddenly, becoming a mother seems a much more daunting task than I had realized.

I feel guilty fussing at them in front of so many people so I try to reason with them in as much of a stern voice as I can muster. The effort is wasted as the desired outcome barely lasts 3 minutes. At one point, the coffee shop owner requests their behavior improve only to be fought with a smarty pants quip from Aiden. I’m appalled and demand that Aiden apologize. I’m then the one who gets jeered at.  I win in the end when a borderline sarcastic apology is offered up. My patience runs out and we pack up to leave.

When did I lose their respect? When did I lose control of my sweet little boys? Why won’t they at least attempt to be pleasing? Who is teaching Aiden sarcasm? Okay, the fourth is easily discernible… he learned it from Aunt Sarah. I laugh to myself. Not really though, she’s just the scapegoat this time. I cannot seem to bring myself to blame anyone else but me. I’ve gone soft, as my grandfather would say.

We abandoned spanking quite a bit ago and turned to other forms of punishment for reinforcement. I’m discouraged currently though since our efforts seem to be thwarted constantly with bad behavior that keeps getting worse.

I’m desperate to find a solution without resorting to past methods. I’m also caught between their ages. Although Aiden and O’Ryan are years apart they, having been raised so differently until this past summer, are quite equal in terms of maturity and both respond the same way to actions and consequence. They’re almost like twins just with different personalities. Aiden is head strong with a fiery spirit and temper which is opposite O’Ryan’s bashfulness and quiet, nervous demeanor. I have no idea where to begin finding appropriate discipline techniques that best suit their different needs.

I have no problem stepping up to the plate and being an enforcer. Neither does Brett, who is equally as frustrated with our little monsters. My fear aligns with what I think most of today’s modern parents are faced with… how do I teach them right from wrong without going overboard and causing some detriment to their personalities? I don’t want to them to obey me out of fear. I want their respect. I feel strongly as though I am giving them the respect I request back… it just isn’t coming back as planned.

I am one of those that believe it takes a village to raise a child and so I am seeking encouragement and perhaps some guidance as to what works or has worked for you other moms and children of moms! Bring it on! I’m open to all suggestions and opinions.

Now don't forget to join in the excitement! 

1. Write your blog post including your Wish! {out loud}.

2. Grab and display the Wish! {out loud} button in your post.

3. Link up through one of the hosts' blogs because it will show up on all three.

4. Start visiting other blogs, making friends, and make a Wish! come true.


  1. I won't be so bold as to tell you what method to use. I am not a parent and don't feel like I have that right. But as a professional nanny who enforces rules on a daily basis I will encourage you to remain consistent. I try to be with my charges. We all have our days, though. Days where fighting the fight is just not worth it. But that's where we let them have the upper hand. So attempt to remain consistent in whatever form of parenting you choose. A lot easier said than done, I know. When all else fails just go in the bathroom. Sit on the toilet. And a scream. It feels good sometimes.

    1. Oh my goodness! I had no idea you were a nanny! How did I miss that???

      Excvellent advice... and quite the task! I know from past experiences consistency seems to be the key, I just need to figure out what to be consistent with! ha!

  2. Thanks for posting. You are a good mom.

  3. I agree consistency. If not for anything more than your sanity. I read one time that it is a child's job to push boundaries, it is how they learn. It is our job as their parents to set those boundaries and show our babies consequences for crossing the line. Kids like to know where that line is, it gives them security. We do the reasoning thing, ask if anyone else is acting that way and if that doesn't work we leave. Blending a family is tricky work. Kudos to you!!

  4. OMG! i thought i missed this wish out loud from last week! yay. im doing my entry now :)


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