My Saving Grace

I am probably one of the only people you'll ever meet that's super excited about getting old. I smile at the thought that I'll accomplish my goal of leaving this world drowned in memories of experiences that I'm satisfied with. Hopefully like Ben Gibbard so eloquently sang in "I Will Follow You Into the Dark": "and the soles of your shoes are all worn down..." It hits me so hard every time. I know it's because I'm so scared to go alone and find comfort in the fact that someone might could go with me and hold my hand.

I often wonder if I'll be alone, either physically or mentally. Family history suggests that I might live long but without the ability to remember anything. I obsess over music and associate so many memories with songs. I hope that if I'm old and my memories are hard to locate that someone will play the music that conjures them up. Sort of like The Notebook... just with music instead of my own words. I think the person I will love the most in my life will be the one sitting beside me in my last hours playing song after song, allowing my mind to find peace in the life that I've lived.

Here lately there have been songs added to my memoir. These few songs bring such vivid memories to my mind and emotion to my heart. Here is one in particular, an acoustic version of an old favorite performed by Tom Gabel of Against Me, "Because of the Shame":